Hopefully

I cry, I smile
Indifference seems to melt away
That thumping place inside my chest
Warming to your touch
You scare yourself
And pull away, fingers and all
Blurring into the horizon
Quickly gone as you quickly came
I am bereft
I cry, I smile
I had time with you and your eyes
The comforting embrace
A breath of fresh air
And we laughed together
At each other, the little things
This is us at our highest peak
I cry, I smile
As I look down from atop a crest
The waves punishing my body
I'm beat up, my heart is bruised
My hand holds out hope
That yours will find it in the swell of things

Distance

I have to be there for you
By not being there
By not speaking to you
Trying to resist the urge to look
At your face
To be able to read
The smallest inclination of a smile

I have to be there for you
But it's so not my style
To let you push me away
Even if only for a moment
Before you can build up your armor
And come back into the fight

I have to be there for you
To make it fair between us
For your easy way of saying hello
And making sure I'm alright
For the closeness of your hugs
The sense of relief there within

I have to be there for you
Since you were there for me

But I'm not there for you
As I would have wanted to be
You don't experience the warmth
In my eyes and my hand
A reassuring smile, the drop of a kiss

I am your safehouse
If you would only let me be

Slow Burn

My heart isn't beating, according to plan
I cherish the days gone by
When thud one and thud two
Closely followed each other
Now there is a great expanse between
The thudding and the breath I take

Breathe in, breathe out,
And always stay just slightly left
Of center
My heart isn't beating, according to my mind
It's supposed to be logical, isn't it?

I think back on those boring days
Of lazing on the couch, drinking tea
Alone and content in my single thoughts
Never wondering about other people

My heart isn't beating
It's slowly fading into the ocean
Seeping out, like slow blood loss
No wonder I've felt so dizzy, so light
It feels like I'm floating

Hovering slightly above the water
I watch the stars burn out
Dimming themselves for the sake of the moon

My heart isn't beating
It's burning